18.10.03
it's one of those times that i always try desperately to cling onto any human connection as possible. over-dependence. nothing's new. resistant to change. there's just this [feeling] that's lacking. searching for it by coming online in the morning but to no avail. there's nobody. you know, perhaps im waiting for sth but it's just not coming.
it's quite sad when i think of it. just a couple of months ago, i flipped through the sch handbk and realised that i wouldnt be with her in school on her day. but when those months flash past, there isnt even a reason why i should be with her on that day. simply because im not up to it, and simply because there's someone else who matters more. who can stitch back those fantasises and dreams? it's just like you're in the midst of knitting something and the ruthless scissors of fate sadistically chops through the patchwork, leaving the ends untied and dangling. she wont even know. slowly but surely, i'll let all these go.
back to those richard clayderman moods again. cant be bothered with the piano so decided to listen to the perfect versions on cd. oh, watched this video clip where jay played with some guy a duet...it just makes my playing seem so amateurish, it was beautiful, the way they played. but no offence, the two guys looked gay. haha. esp the part where they came out to bow after playing, holding hands. jay just looked so pretty. haha. actualli im not sure, he looked quite handsome at the same time. oh wells. like what daph would say, you can never trust my taste. :)
okie, no use moping ard. dont know why the hell im moping ard for anyway. just feeling lost ever since i got out of bed. and perhaps slightly nostalgic...
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17.10.03
ed edd and eddy. EDWIN! hahaha....im suddenly reminded.
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last official day in my beloved second home. i'll miss the place so much, and the wonderful memories it holds. crescent rocks totally! :) fish rocks more though. *beams* ahhhh!!!! i cant bear to leave fish. but im contented with today. yays! cant stop looking thru the photos....will miss all the fantastically nice ppl from the school. thanks dearies, i'll miss u guys...and the juniors for the touching card. :)
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16.10.03
today's perhaps the last time im walking with daphne to the busstop. it was sweltering and the wait was long but yeah, worth it. quite sad, come to think of it. hope f2 comes tmr. only she can make her day...and i can totally understand how it feels to not have her in sch tmr. will that coward pls step forward for once? -sighs-
quite scared to ask mum. apparently some new thing has cropped up and the risk taking is going to be higher than ever. lucky sis, got her permission just at the right moment. darn. i must go...so scared. must try my curry-favouring skills...which is obviously not up to standard cos i totally detest it. muz prepare to pop the qn.
didnt occur to me that there're onli 2 more weeks left to study. shux. didnt occur to me that bio prac's on tuesday either. how ignorant.
hope to see fish tmr. that's all i ask. :)
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15.10.03
yays!!!! the comp's finally plugged in and functioning. :D hmmz...accdg to sis there're quite a few viruses...strange...it's just a move from one end of the garden to the other, why should there be an outburst of viruses? niwaez, im pretty worried that they could be the result of my downloading of nonsensical games last week...when i was driven by boredom. oh wells, the comp still seems pretty okay. the keyboard feels funny though. it doesnt feel like it belongs to my home.
seriously, there must be a shortcut from the busstop. the walk is tediously long with all that bends and steps. sis said i walk slowly...oh well, who doesnt noe that fact? haha. sometimes i have to jog to keep up with terri and kaiwen, haha. that's how pathetic my walking speed is. i am just slow in everything i do. *shrugz* tried looking for another shortcut but ended up in the same route again...i must not give up. once ive discovered a shortcut, it'll benefit me for the rest of my life! it's worth the try.
just realised that someone put the anti-drug whiteboard thingy as the mousepad. seems like it's working not bad! quite smooth. heh. dad's installed this wireless connection thingy...so if we're to get a new comp, i can jolly well play games against my sis from different corners of the house...and if i ever start that awful neopets habit again [sorry pei! heh], i can battle with her too. hehe.
yash, told you. you should have left with daphne and me ystday. :) it was fun running away from mrs rupa when we saw her at the temp block with our bags, heh. shumin said "we were so shocked that you ponned"...wonder who's the "we".
wish that terri will get well soon. i miss wila and shumin. it's just one day of not sitting beside them.
when will the landscape architect come again? -_-
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